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Grown​-​Up Singer

by Chris Peters

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1.
For Sure 04:40
You have an apartment on the West Side Where I’ve never lived, but my parents lived there When they were in their twenties And now falling in love on the Upper West is this family business I just moved to Queens Where I’d never been, and now I live there I was sick of familiar And today, at the Natural History Museum, I asked you “What is this?” And you said “It looks to me like a giant sloth” And I said “No—you know” But you smile, ‘cause you do know Well I don’t know What a giant ground sloth looks like And I don’t know If I’m making rent this month And I don’t know What the hell kind of answer I was looking for But I know I was falling in love with you And I know that For Sure I’m not from New York I grew up in a small New England town That’s 94% white Where the yearly coming of Dave Matthews Band is this religious practice And I’m scared to death Because I grew up, or I should have by now And I’m trying to be a singer With absolutely no idea if I can hack this And I’m on a shift at the coffee shop Where I work for now ‘til I hit it big But I don’t know jack Which means every drink is a cry for help And someone wants a “large-almond-mocha-half-caf-cappucino-to-go” And I’m like “Eddy, how the hell do you make a ‘large-almond-mocha-half-caf’— oh hello..! Never mind, Eddy I’m clocking out, Eddy …Let’s go!” And we run, catch the 7 And the sun sets in the park And the sky gets dark And it’s heaven ‘Cause I’m new to the city But it feels like home ‘Cause I was all alone But now you look so pretty With the moon on the Hudson behind And soon, and for once, in my mind It’s quiet It gets quiet Since I moved to Queens It’s been hitting me in waves That we play for keeps now We’re not in school But you’ve got that apartment on the West Side Where I’ve never lived, but I might like to One day… …if that’s cool…? And this is dumb, ‘cause I’m 24 Fresh from the land of St. Matthew’s Band With dreams to answer for We’re not in Kansas anymore But the thing I know for sure is I don’t know What at grown-up singer looks like And I don’t know Why you still smile at me like that And I don’t know If what I said at the museum was premature But I know I was falling in love with you I know I was falling in love with you I know I was falling in love with you And I know that For Sure
2.
The first time I decided to get married I planned out the whole entire thing I would dress my best She’d wear a summer dress I’d hire James Taylor to sing And the service would be at Hogwarts With Dumbledore presiding And Dino from The Flintstones would bear the ring And Paul & Eddy’s Pizza would do the catering And I was maybe eight years old The third grade teacher’s son But if Dumbledore had asked me if I did, I would’ve done. The last time I decided to get married I didn’t want to, and neither did she When we could lie instead In that dorm room bed With “How I Met Your Mother,” season three And at night we could order in From Paul & Eddy’s pizza They’re on Seamless now; the first time’s free And there’d be nothing else, except for her and me. And I was maybe eighteen years old My journey just begun But if she’d asked me to drop everything and stay I would’ve done If I ever do decide to get married I wanna be bound like a kite on a string: Grounded in the life Of a husband and wife With kids, with bills, with love, with recycling While flying far and wide To see who’d ever have me Play guitar and sing And hope that time and patience see to everything. But twenty years from now, Will that be a pipe dream too? And how old will I be before I know What should I do? I’ll get older, and I’ll get wiser, But the question follows me: How do you tell dreams apart from fantasy? Yeah, how do you tell dreams apart from fantasy?
3.
Car Song 04:57
I’ve got a car now It was rusting through in my uncle’s front yard I’ve got a car now The check engine light goes on when you brake too hard It’s got a hundred thousand miles Been ‘round the world four times since it was new I’ve got a car now, And I never drove it once to see you. You used to chase me Up the wooden playscape bus at our school You got a splinter I got bench time, ‘cause climbing’s against the rules And every single morning I would hope that you’d come chase me again I’ve got a car now, But I preferred that bus back then. And what was the point getting older? Why wait ‘til we were grown-ups With chapter books and work To waste our time When we could already be together With worlds enough to conquer, A dozen playground structures Left to climb? I’ve got a car now It’s old and grey like Marty McFly’s I’ve got a car now And at eight years old, I might never have believed my eyes And if I could drive back from the future And tell him how things turned out to be Well he’d like my car now But I don’t know what he’d think of me. I’d borrow Dad’s car To come see you on the weekends back then We might be happy Or maybe we were fighting again And we would fall asleep And you’d wake me up And I’d race home at dawn I’ve got a car now But that stretch of 95 still feels wrong. We were no good for each other You could always hurt me And I could always let you down That’s all I know But it only drew us closer Wrapped tight around each other Dancing miles above the ground Til we let go... I’ve got a car now It’s a ‘97 Camry sedan I’ve got a car now The insurance says that I’m a grown man And when I thought about the future I used to wonder If we would be together then But now I know That I could drive another hundred thousand miles And never dance in the air with you again.
4.
We were at a coffee shop with laptops out You didn’t look up, but you put your hand in mine It’s been a while--and you’ve gone back to him--and I’ve thought a lot about How dumb I was to take that as a sign When in the end, a glance was all it took... My Bumble date is friendly! She’s from Baltimore We both think Winona Ryder pulls her weight on Stranger Things But now the bar is closing down, and the lights come up on the parquet floor And I think about your zigzag sweater And how I thought I knew you better But it’s much too late to take a second look... Single People don’t have time To let a thing go past its prime Single People break up and rebound But if I had you to myself, you know I’d want you around A month isn’t long enough to fall in love with someone —And it’s not that I’m in love with you, I wanna make that clear— But while we were mocking couples, we’d become one And I started looking forward to when you got home ...I mean, to my home, when you’d come over... Whatever Single People hedge their bets So prospects don’t become regrets Single People’s feet don’t leave the ground But if I had you to myself, you know I’d keep you around And I’m not angry If he’s someone that you wanted to go back to Then maybe you had to... But c’mon, did you have to? ‘Cause I didn’t know you long, but when I kissed you It felt so close To being so close We were at a coffee shop with laptops out And if I’d known that was the last time I would ever hold your hand I would’ve held on tighter; I would’ve said something But what could I have said that would’ve made you understand That I like you That I’d miss this That if it were up to me, I wish that you would stay But that I hope that things work out for you someday But that’s not something single people say So if you’re at the bar some night I’ll smile, I’ll wave, I’ll be polite Then close my eyes and count to ten And pray that you are gone again ‘Cause single people bend and break And push and pull, pretend and fake And trip, and fall, and keep each other down But if I had you to myself, you know I’d want you around
5.
Phone Tag 03:13
Phone Tag! You’re it again I’m locked in the bathroom To wait for this semester to end Really hoped I could talk to you Thought that you might know what to do With a roommate who smells like he *bathes* in cologne And whines and whines to his mom on the phone And I want nothing more than to see you alone And it’s only my third afternoon I miss you. Call me back soon... Phone tag! It’s me again I just tripped in a snowbank Ate shit in front of all of my friends Which is just what I need today To prompt the monster inside me to say That my friends all manage maybe twice as much as I do I’ll never catch up, so why even try to? And if I’m here to write songs, then why do I still sing these same tired tunes? I love you, call me back soon... But there are days When you don’t call, but I don’t notice And there are days When I almost hope you won’t pick up It’s getting easier to miss you Every day hurts a little less, and I’m Feeling a little more at home here All the time Who’s there--Hello again! It’s almost the summer Could I maybe talk to you then? No, I swear I’m ok No--Listen to me, I’m not getting more distant But exams are next week and I’m falling behind And my friends had this end-of-year party in mind And you’re being so patient, I’m sorry, I’m kind of All over the place, but these days that’s just what I am I promise I’ll call you as soon as I can...
6.
Bone Deep 05:08
When I talked to him, he seemed ok He said “we’ve been broken up three months today It’s been a while” He said “I changed my clothes, I cut my hair And If I see her out somewhere I smile “And I should be getting better And I should be moving on But it’s so hard to admit she’s really gone “But man I’m telling you it’s Bone Deep And I’m bone dry And I don’t know what I should do ‘Cause I couldn’t make her love me But I think I’m still trying to” Is it strange to you that everyday I’ve seen things a little more my way Since you left me alone But all it takes to break it all Is late one night for you to call On the telephone? ‘Cause when I talked to you, you seemed ok But then again, who am I to say? Did I ever know? And it rolls in like a tidal wave The heartache, and the shame And, all in all, it all feels just the same But don’t you tell me that it’s Bone Deep Or that I’m bone dry Because we both know that isn’t true But tell me how You still make me feel the way you do He called me up again last night He said he finally put things right She took him back I guess I wish I didn’t know I guess it’s ‘cause I see things so In white and black ‘Cause I fought it off for so long Fought it back for so long Pushed you back for so long And it’s just when you were almost gone But now I see you and it’s Bone Deep But now I’m bone dry ‘Cause now I’m too strong to look away And someday, when I see you I’ll look in your eyes And I’ll mean it when I say that I’m ok But man I’m telling you it’s Bone Deep Bone Deep And when I talked to him, he seemed ok
7.
We ate churros next to Sleeping Beauty’s castle I remember ‘cause the sugar on my hands Gummed up the handle to the bathroom Next to Peter Pan’s Flight You insisted that we both buy Mickey Mouse ears And the kids all laughed and pointed As we sprinted to Frontierland ‘Cause Thunder Mountain’s busy at night It’s me and you On Thunder Mountain And you’re screaming bloody murder But your smile’s a mile wide Me and you On Thunder Mountain We’re grownups, but we’re little kids inside If we don’t stop, they’ll kick us off the ride Back home in New York, I make a mess of things I’m supposed to see you maybe Saturday But now I’ve got to work And you’ve got class until nine But at 10pm on Saturday the doorbell rings And you’re holding up a six pack And you say “we’re gonna drink this And watch Princess Bride; we’re gonna be fine” And every day Is Thunder Mountain And you’re quoting Billy Crystal Saying Westley “mostly died” We’re away On Thunder Mountain We’re grownups, but we’re little kids inside Please keep your feet and elbows on the ride I have no idea if we can make it through Music’s getting busy And you’re headed back to grad school And we might be forever; we might not But I know right now I love you, and you love me too No one said this would be easy I couldn’t ask for better company I can be glad with what I’ve got So here’s to you And Thunder Mountain And to screaming bloody murder And to smiles a mile wide To me and you And Thunder Mountain We’re grownups, but we’re little kids inside And “grownup” means whatever we decide I’m grateful every day we’re on the ride

about

Alternative titles include:
1) I'm Fine, Everything's Fine
2) My Car Survived to 100,000 Miles; Where's My Prize
3) What's The Deal With Giant Ground Sloths
and
4) How Do You Stay True To Yourself When You Still Don't Know Who That Is

credits

released April 20, 2019

written and performed by Chris Peters
produced by Kevin Garcia
recorded, engineered and mixed by Jake Lummus at Grand Street Recording, Brooklyn, NYC
mastered by Fred Kavorkian
album photo by Kate Milford
cover design by Alison Mansfield

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Chris Peters New York, New York

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